When Should You Have Sex With Him?

When is the right time for sex?

You hear so much different advice on when to have sex, and you are left feeling confused. 

You hear you should wait X amount of months before being intimate.

Your friend had sex on the first date and is now happily married.

Your mom says you should wait until marriage, after all, if he has the milk, why buy the cow?

So who is right?

Well, let me lay out some facts and then you decide!

Men and Sex

For most men, sex, in the beginning, is just that…sex. 

It’s baked into their DNA to want to have sex as an instinct.

Men are initially attracted to women by their looks but what keeps them around is the emotional attraction which takes time to build. 

Men can have sex and have it be just sex without emotions involved or getting attached.

Women and Sex

So what happens with women when they have sex?

When a woman has sex with a man, even if it’s early on before deep feelings are involved, oxytocin is released. 

Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that is released during sex. 

It can bond us even more to a man deepening the emotions that are already there. 

Now some women can have sex without being bonded and can separate sex from feelings, but I’ve seen many clients who have gotten very attached too soon after sleeping with a man. 

What About Sex and Symphonic Dating?

What About Sex & Symphonic Dating?

Hopefully, you are Symphonic Dating!

You can have a Sexual Exclusivity agreement. 

When I was dating Joe and keeping my options open we had an agreement with each other.

I told him that while we are not exclusive we agree to only have sex with each other.

If either one of us found someone else we wanted to be with we would let the other know and end the agreement. 

This way I was still Symphonic Dating, but only having sex with one man.

So When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

This is where Feminine energy is SO important!

You decide when it FEELS RIGHT to you!

Each man you date is different and there is no right answer.

I waited six months to sleep with a man named Michael that I was dating.

He wined and dined me, but there were red flags I mentally ignored, but inside I didn’t listen to my feelings.

Shortly after sleeping with him, he ghosted me. 

Now with Joe, it was four dates in that we made the agreement and we slept together…and we’re still together!!!

This is where listening to your feelings and intuition is the best thing you can do.

He Wants Sex But You’re Not Ready

Most men will try and get you to have sex right away, but let’s say you’re not ready, how can you tell him in a Feminine Energy way?

You want to do it in a feminine energy way that is positive, but it’s all about you.

“Wow, it would feel so amazing to be with you, however, I don’t feel ready for sex yet.”

You’re letting him know that you’re not ready but at the same time, it’s not about him in any way. 

What’s My Recommendation?

I recommend waiting until it feels good to you and you are ready.

But, if you have been dating a man in your dating orbit for a while and decided he has potential, I would recommend sleeping with him at least once.

Why??

Because this way you will know what you will be getting if you do get engaged or decide to live together.

I was in a relationship with a man way before I knew about Symphonic Dating and when we tried to sleep together it was a surprise.

He was impotent and hadn’t sought help.

I didn’t say anything to him as I knew it was a difficult subject but we broke up a short time later.

I was going to break up with him, not just because of the impotence, but we also didn’t have anything in common, when he asked me to live with him!

I said no and he went silent on me and ghosted me for four months.

For him, there may be some woman out there that is ok not having sex, but for me, it is an intimate, bonding part of the relationship.

I encourage you to take him for a test drive at some point before making any decisions on living together or getting engaged.

I want you to have fun in dating and listen to your feelings and you be the chooser!!!!

Have fun Symphonic Dating!!!

Love, 

Kimberly